Loss and grief are one of the hardest parts of life and one family is giving your family a way to process these emotions.
Author, podcaster, and pastor Annie F. Downs is doing what she does best – telling stories, and she is using her own personal story to do just that.
In 2022, Annie’s sister, Tatum, suffered the loss of their newborn son, TJ, after he had been born with a "life limiting diagnosis.” He lived for 56 days until he peacefully passed away in their home in Georgia. While it was hard to process their own emotions, they were also met with new challenges as they help their older son, Sam, navigate this new normal. At just 2-years-old, having these conversations surrounding death and loss can be difficult.
Annie and Tatum set out to find a book that would help Sam comprehend what was going on, while also keeping the Gospel in the center, but it wasn’t long until they realized, one for kids did not exist.
Annie knew she needed to create something that would resonate with so many parents and children all over the world.
“I'm not good at casseroles, I'm not good at all that kind of stuff. But I was like, ‘I can tell a story and Sam is used to me telling him stories,’” Annie said.
"Where Did TJ Go?" aims to help children who have lost a sibling or loved one by acknowledging sadness, while also sharing the truth and hope of heaven.
Initially, Annie wrote this book just for Sam, to tell the story of TJ's birth, death, and time in heaven, in a way that a young child could understand. However, she and Tatum both knew this could help so many who are struggling to have these exact conversations too.
“It's such a great way to talk about those two things simultaneously, the reality of the grief of not having TJ here with us and the greater reality of the hope that we have, that we get to be with him forever in heaven,” Tatum said.
Just barely 2-years-old and Sam is understanding loss and grief at such an early age. The book has not only become a special gift to Sam, but hundreds of other families across the country.
The book features illustrations and other special features that are special to the family, including Jesus reading a book to TJ.
“There is good news even in sad stories,” Annie said.
Families who have suffered loss on any level will be able to find comfort through this book. From the loss of a pet or grandparent to miscarriages, death will become an easier topic with this resource.
If this story resonates with you, you can submit your child's name that you've lost and Annie will sign and send you a book plate in their memory.
Annie and Tatum have received over 400 names of children that other families have lost, showing there is a significant need for resources to support these grieving families.
While TJ was here on Earth, the family still holds onto many moments in his short life.
The doctors told the family there was not a lot known about his diagnosis, but their assumption was that he did not have much brain activity. Despite this, the family found that TJ was very alert, engaged, and had a depth of understanding beyond what the doctors had expected.
“He saw us and knew us,” Tatum said.
Just 2 and a half years later, Sam insists on wearing his big brother shirt for all to see—proving this book is exceeding its’ goal.
Annie and Tatum hope the book will serve other families going through similar losses and help them have these difficult but important conversations with their children.
You can keep up with Annie on her K-LOVE Fan Award nominated podcast, That Sounds Fun or while she is pastoring at Cross Point in Nashville, TN.
“Yeah, I'm pretty embarrassingly easy to find. It's just Annie F. Downs everywhere, F as in fancy or fun and I'll meet you there.”